Experience With The Female Condom

I will admit: I’m fascinated by the female condom. For starters, it’s the only female initiated dual-protection (against both pregnancy and STIs) method available. The potential for women all over the world to have agency over our reproduction is amazing. But why, I’ve wondered, is uptake so low? Why don’t any of my friends use it?
There are certainly some aspects of the female condom that are less appealing than other methods. They’re much more expensive than traditional condoms. Female condom manufacturers and advocates have attempted to reframe the discussion to include benefits including enhanced pleasure and ease of use. I’ve joined the call for feminists and health care workers to advocate for their use and access, but the benefits beyond risk reduction feel clumsy and don’t really ring true for me. Can it REALLY stimulate bodies in ways that are worth using them over traditional condoms? Could watching someone insert one possibly be alluring?
So when a friend suggested I shut up and try it, I realized I really should put my birth control where my mouth was. Or something.
I informed my boyfriend that we were going to have an “experimental weekend.” His excitement quite quickly turned to irritation when I told him that not only would we be trying a contraceptive method that was rumored to be less-than-sexy, but that I’d subsequently write about it on the internet. As he always does (what a gem), he warmed to the idea. Adventure!
I was naïve in thinking I could just pop to the nearest pharmacy to pick one up. Admittedly I haven’t bought condoms in years, so thought they’d be stored with the rows and rows of hideous ribbed and strawberry-flavored chemicals for your pleasure varieties. They were not. In fact, I looked in no less than ten pharmacies across with no success. One pharmacist told me that there isn’t really a market for them, and I’d be lucky to find any outside of a family planning clinic. Le sigh.
But hoorah! In mere days we were off on a long trip (that had been planned for months…obviously not solely in pursuit of a female condom). Nothing says “working holiday” like picking up a female condom, using it and writing about it on the road! In the following weeks, I searched multiple pharmacies. There were no female condoms to be found. So, I’ve identified uptake problem number one: where the hell are people supposed to get them? I was imagining some unfortunate teenager with a latex allergy, perhaps much more embarrassed about sex then my precocious self, walking into pharmacy after pharmacy in her rural town, asking for a product that she’d never find. Based on my fairly limited sample size, I feel confident postulating that accessibility is an issue.
I got my hands on one thanks to a colleague who is also a student midwife.
So, we did it. And here’s the (kinda graphic) verdict:
The Condom Itself: It looks a little bit like a deflated jellyfish. The FC2, manufactured in the UK, came lubricated so was a tad messy, though no more than any other lubricated condom. I was worried that I’d torn it when I opened the package, which is a fear shared by many opening the traditional condom, I suppose. It was intact. The journey continued…
Insertion: As a loyal Nuvaring user for years, I assumed that I’d have the whole inserting-a-rubbery-ring-the-size-of-a-child’s-bracelet-into-your-vagina thing down pat. I do not, as it turns out. The package provides a handy Ikea-style instructional illustration, and I did not follow directions.

“Didn’t it look like she was standing up in the picture?” my boyfriend gently reminded as I wriggled around under the covers.
Putting it in under the covers is hard, particularly because if you have to make multiple attempts, which I did, your hands just get slimy. For those of you excited to have a go, I recommend following the animated directions. Anyway we got there in the end.
Fit: Okay, so it definitely hung outside of my body by about an inch, which I know it’s supposed to do. When you look at a female condom outside of the package (and of the body) it’s a cylindrical sheath. Now, I knew that the two or so inch diameter would not maintained inside of my body, because vaginas are squeezy things. I did, however, assume that the two rings (internal and external) of the condom would be parallel to each other. The internal ring actually ended up fitting like a nuvaring; it was sort of against the back of me – the back wall. Well, color me surprised!
I had heard that it made a sort of plastic baggy sound during sex, and I can report that it did not.
Ease Of Use: This would get much easier with practice, I assume. It’s easier than say, pregnancy. So there’s that.
Comfort (for me): Unlike having sex with a traditional condom, I felt it the entire time. This could absolutely be because of the way I inserted it. I thought maybe it wasn’t all the way in, but I’m quite certain my boyfriend was able to … help that process along. I could feel the ring at the top rubbing, which wasn’t entirely unpleasant, but it was a little bit distracting.
Comfort (for him): We both really hoped that this wouldn’t be the case, but it was so uncomfortable for him that we actually decided to stop. When I suggested that we do it faster (sorry), he said “if I go faster I’m scared I’ll end up laminated!” And then I laughed a lot.  And then he laughed a lot. And then we were done.
He found that it pinched him a little bit, and we decided that if we were to use one again, we’d use additional lube.
Pleasure (for me): Again, I really hate to say this, but there was none of the added pleasure that’s been advertised for me. The most pleasure I got out of the experience was the LOLZ with my incredibly up-for-it boyfriend both during and after. We also cackled like hyenas at the sight of it hanging outside of me like the twisty end of an enormous balloon.
Pleasure (for him): Nope. Not a lot. In fact, he said it would have become too uncomfortable before he could … ahem … achieve orgasm.
Suffice it to say that no, no added pleasure here for him.
Conclusions: Barring a change in circumstances, the female condom is not the best method for my partner and me. However, I can see that there are many reasons that someone would prefer the female condom to other methods. For example, some women can’t stand hormonal birth control. For us, we’ve found what works and the experience with the female condom has only further cemented that choice.
But I’m so glad it exists. For many women, something they can insert in advance without a prescription (as opposed to the diaphragm, which requires one and does not protect against STIs) is necessary for various reasons. Unfortunately, many people don’t feel that they can trust sexual partners to prioritize their safety, especially in places where discussions of sex and sexuality are taboo. Circumstances may mean that two partners decide that they need additional external protection, and no other contraception provides that for penetrative sex (both anal and vaginal). The female condom brings something to the smorgasbord table that is contraceptive options, and it should be accessible for people all over the world. This means it needs to be affordable, widely available and well-publicized. Perhaps like the traditional condom, some awkward sex education teacher in high school could insert it in some lucky fruit or vegetable as a first pass at training us for safer sex. That would be a hoot!
As a hopefully obvious but perhaps necessary caveat: this is the personal experience of my partner and me using the female condom one time. We both acknowledge that with further use and practice, it could become more natural, just as using a traditional condom does. Remember the first time you used one of those? They break (famously), they fly across the room, they expire – they’re not perfect either!
So if it’s for you, try it! Do let me know how it goes. Anyone already use them and want to sing their praises? Let us know in the comments!
- by PW
TF

FUN IN THE SHOWER

She stepped into the shower. The temperature was just right, very warm but not scalding, and she luxuriated in the feel of the fine spray on her shoulders, as her neck muscles relaxed.
She arched her back, and stepped back a little, letting the water soak her hair, and run down her face and across her breasts. She reached down for the shampoo, and started massaging it into her hair, working up a fine lather.
As she stepped under the spray to rinse her hair, she suddenly felt his hands on her shoulders. “Mmmm”, she mumbled, and leaned back against his strong chest, as his hands rubbed along her shoulders and down her arms. She could feel his hardness against her buttocks, and wiggled against it playfully as his hands roamed up her sides, finally encircling her and moving up to her breasts. He playfully tickled the edges and the undersides, but eventually his fingers found their way to her nipples, which had gotten hard almost at his first touch.
He squeezed her nipples as his lips found her neck; he nibbled his way up to her earlobe, biting it rather hard, and she jumped. She turned around then, and their lips met. He pushed his tongue inside her mouth, his arms encircling her, and she reached down to touch his maleness. She took it in her hand, caressing it gently, rubbing the shaft and moving a finger down to caress his testicles. He arched his back, pushing himself against her belly as his erection grew.
She knelt down and planted a kiss on the tip. He moaned, and ran his fingers through her hair as the water of the shower rained down around her, and she took his penis into her mouth. She could taste the saltiness of it, and she ran her tongue around the head, feeling his flavor in the whole of her mouth before she started to suck on him. Her right hand encircled his shaft, and she began to rhythmically stroke him in time with the action of her mouth. She could feel his excitement grow, as the water ran down her face, and she took more of him into her mouth.
She moved her hand back to caress his testicles and drew almost his complete shaft into her throat. She generated as much suction as she could, and started to use her mouth to move him in and out, taking his entire length into her throat on the deep stroke. Rhythmically she stroked, faster and faster, and finally with a groan, he reached orgasm. She took him out of her mouth then, and let the water of the shower run across his penis to clean it. He pulled her up from her knees and smiling, lifted her in his arms and carried her from the shower.
He took a large, fluffy bath towel and began to dry her shoulders and worked down to her back, then putting his arms around her to dry her breasts and stomach. Kneeling, he toweled off her legs and feet, and as she stood, ran a teasing finger up the inside of her leg, almost to her sex. She trembled a little at the sensation, and even more as his finger began to trace the inside of her thigh. He moved his fingers up to gently brush the folds of skin around her vulva, massaging and kneading the tender flesh, and sending shock waves through her body with every motion. Her legs began trembling, and he pulled her down next to him.
She lay on her back. He knelt between her legs and lightly licked the inside of her thigh. She moaned, and spread her legs more widely as he licked higher onto her vulva, teasing it gently for a second before retreating and licking at her other thigh. She reached her hands down to his hair, and gently stroked his head and caressed the muscles of his neck as he blew gently on her clit. He took it into his mouth and sucked on it gently, causing her to gasp. Then he pulled back and began to use his tongue in earnest, sometimes quickly, other times slower, moving it vertically or making slow, lazy circles around her clit.
He worked a quick finger inside of her and penetrated deeply, and moved it in and out in the rhythm of his tongue moving against her clitoris. She moaned at the feelings he was inducing in her body, and as they intensified she orgasmed, writhing, on the floor. He looked up at her and smiled, and then crawled up her body to lie on top of her. She put her arms around him and luxuriated in his maleness, his smell and the texture of his body on top of her. Soon she could feel him becoming hard again, and she parted her legs to let him enter. He slid in smoothly, and they lay motionless for a moment, enjoying the sensation of her vaginal walls around him.
Eventually he started to thrust himself rhythmically into her, moving his hips against hers, and she rose up to meet him on each deep thrust. She put her arms around his back, caressing his strong muscles and his buttocks, pulling him even more deeply inside of her. His mouth found hers, not gently, and they savagely kissed, his tongue forcing itself into her mouth in time with his strokes. He groaned, and she could feel him starting to spasm inside of her. The sensation brought her to her own orgasm, and they came together, shuddering. He stayed inside of her as they lay together in the afterglow, enjoying the sensations of each others’ body, their arms around each other, until, smiling, she pushed him off of her, giving him one last kiss, to return to the shower that he had so rudely interrupted…

The 10 Biggest Misconceptions About Anal Sex

Anal sex is not as scary as it sounds,
Here are some common myths about anal sex – busted.

The myth: It will hurt.

The truth: Anal sex doesn’t have to hurt. It’s often just done incorrectly. Many women find it incredibly pleasurable, and some even report having orgasms with them. If you and your partner start slow, work your way into insertion with smaller implements like fingers and sex toys and use plenty of lube, pain will be the last thing on your mind.

The myth: Once it hurts, it will always hurt.

The truth: So you tried it once and insertion hurt really bad. You made your partner stop and vowed never to go “back” there again. You don’t have to shut the backdoor because of one or two negative experiences. Most of these experiences have to do with not following the above instructions: go slow, graduate in size and use lube. Plus there is a nice trick to get you relaxed. If you also stimulate your clitoris at the same time it can encourage the pleasure over pain response.

The myth: Only “sluts” have anal sex.

The truth: You’ve always heard that bad girls are the only ones willing to have anal sex. In actuality, anal sex has been voted the number one taboo sexual behavior that heterosexual couples want to try. So obviously, we all can’t be sluts. There’s a natural curiosity about our bodies and if there is pleasure to be had, you should feel you can explore that in a safe and healthy way.
The myth: Having anal sex will save your sex life.
The truth:  It usually has to do with a couple that has more than once sexual issue, especially a female who might be inhibited about her sexuality and it is getting in the way of her sex life with her partner. Some men behold anal sex as the holy grail and if they can just get their wives and girlfriends to partake then the floodgates (so to speak) about sex would open in general. Those other issues need to be worked out ahead of time and then if and when she feels open to the experience should they approach the subject. If she is just doing it out of fear of losing her relationship, she probably won’t enjoy it anyway.
The myth: Your man won’t respect you later.
The truth: So he got what he wanted from you and now wants nothing to do with you? I’m sure this happens occasionally but with more than just anal sex but any sort of sexual activity. Most men though, are modern enough to see anal sex as just one component of healthy sex life. And because of the taboo of anal sex, it might actually help you feel closer and more emotionally bonded to your partner.
The myth: It will cause you physical damage.
The truth: Having any sort of sex the “wrong way” could cause damage. Think about it: If you are vaginally dry and don’t use additional lube, you can cause micro-tears in the vagina. The same thing can happen in anal sex. Granted the vagina does create it’s own lubrication usually (depending on hormones etc.) and the anus does not but that just means real lube (not saliva) needs to be used for a healthy experience.
The myth: You don’t need to use condoms when you have anal sex.
The truth: This is a misconception because many people think that because there is no pregnancy risk that you also don’t need to use a condom. Wrong, wrong, wrong. Most STDs are transferrable through the anus (chlamydia, gonorrhea, infectious hepatitis and HIV). Some even more so, because the lining of the anus is much more thin and can be broken more easily if too much dry friction occurs (again, please refer to the importance of lube use).
The myth: Once you give your partner anal sex, it will be all he wants.
The truth: It’s no secret, many men do cop to the fact that they enjoy the additional tightness the anus affords as compared to the vagina. But most men don’t want to give up the main entry either. Vaginas are still revered. Anal sex tends to be a “treat” mixed into your regular sexual repertoire of play.
The myth: Your anus will get all stretched out.
The truth: Just like the myth that the vagina gets irreparably stretched out from childbirth, this is also a misconception. There were rumors in the late seventies of groups of men who engaged in so much anal activity that they actually lost control of bowel movements. Regular, healthy use of anal sex will not lead to this outcome. Through regular anal sex, your anus does learn to become more relaxed but much of that has to do with your ability to relax yourself mentally for the act. And we all know that the vagina accommodates a wide range of penises, the anus can too — with the right introduction.
The myth: It’s dirty (literally).
The truth: This is probably one of the biggest misconceptions. The anus and the lower part of the rectum actually have very little fecal material in them, which means it tends to not be nearly as dirty as you think. This doesn’t mean you should transfer the elements into the vagina by having anal sex and then vaginal sex though because they are two different environments, even microscopic fecal elements can cause vaginal infections. Just be sure to clean with antimicrobial soap before vaginal re-entry or just end your sexual exploits for that evening with anal sex. Regardless, if you are still concerned, you can always have a bowel movement prior followed by an enema, if you want to be squeaky clean.
Cosmo

8 Times You’re Misreading Her Sexual Language

Here’s a scary thought: you could be completely wrong about how good you are in bed. You could be reading her signals to “please stop that right now!” as signals to keep going. Because every little sound and movement is so subtle when you’re in the act, it’s easy to have little misunderstandings that stop her from experiencing the big O. Here are times you’re misreading her sexual language.

1. She wiggles when you’re down there
Have you ever had your partner sort of wiggle when you were performing oral on her? Maybe shake her hips a little or kick her legs a little? And did you think she was wiggling with pleasure?
If a woman is enjoying what you’re doing down there, she’s going to stay mostly perfectly still. If she’s moving her hips or legs around, she’s trying to encourage you to wrap things up.
2. When she’s bouncing on top
Has it ever happened that your partner was on top, and she was bouncing up and down, and seemed to be enjoying herself so much, that you then grabbed her hips and tried to help guide her movements? Helping her bounce, essentially, more? Did you think you were helping her climax?
Usually when a woman is on top, she knows exactly how to move to get herself to orgasm. Any sort of “assistance” you give her is just getting in the way.
3. When she’s holding her breasts
This is another thing that women will do when they’re on top sometimes: hold they’re breasts. Maybe you took that as an indicator she wanted you to grab and touch her breasts.
She’s holding her breasts because it hurts when they bounce up and down during sex. She’s pain managing. Unless you’d like to hold them perfectly still for her, just let her handle those for now.
4. When she wants more of “that”
Whatever “that” is, if you’re doing that, and she likes it and says “more of that,” trick question: do you actually do more of that? But, really?

For some reason, sometimes when men hear “more of that” they think they should do “that” faster, harder, more aggressively etc. We don’t mean do a heightened variety of whatever you were just doing. We mean, literally, do exactly what you’re doing for longer.

5. When she really gets into it, down thereIf your partner is performing oral on you, and she starts to get really into it, moving faster, applying more pressure and just generally getting a little more aggressive (in a good way) do you know what you’re supposed to do? Don’t take this as a sign that you can then push her head or grab her hair. You don’t get to be aggressive just because she is. If you like what she’s doing, tell her with your words and your sounds of pleasure. But other than that, let her do her thing, hands-off.

6.When she rolls onto her sideIt’s probably happened that, while you were in some form of missionary, your partner rolled onto her side. And then you gently rolled her all the way onto her stomach and moved into some position from behind. If she wanted to roll onto her stomach that’s what she would have done. There are a lot of great pleasure spots you hit when having sex on your sides. She got on her side because that’s what she wanted.
7.When she’s touching herself
If your partner starts touching herself during sex, do you think that’s a demonstration of what you’re supposed to do for her?
Generally if a woman wants you to touch her, she’ll ask you to. If she’s touching herself, it’s because she knows just what to do at this moment to reach orgasm. Don’t interrupt!
8. When she gets acrobatic
If you happen to have a flexible partner, good for you. She might contort her body into some fun positions during sex. But is that supposed to be interactive?

Just because she’s lifted her leg up somewhere doesn’t mean you can then push it further into that position. She knows the limits of her own body—she’s stretched as far as she can!

Guide To The Perfect One-Night Stand

 

Have you ever taken a lady home expecting to “hump and dump,” but she wanted to start dating after? Or worse…she lingered all morning and refused to leave? If these scenarios sound eerily familiar, that’s because the world of casual, no-strings-attached sex can be a slippery slope to navigate—and chances are, you’re doing it all wrong.

Abide by our “do’s and don’ts” and you’ll have flawless, one-night-only encounters from here on out.

The General Rule of Thumb

DO: Go for it! Give yourself permission to engage in having a one-night stand. Far too many people are concerned with how they should act, will be perceived, or what is considered moral that they never allow themselves to delve into casual encounter sex-capades.
DON’T: Be a dick. Seriously. Even if you never plan on seeing her again, treat the woman with respect. She’s someone’s sister or daughter! One-night stands should be considered a pleasant surprise—not your God-given right.

The Protection Plan

DO: Remember the importance of wrapping it up! Bring a condom with you before going out. If you forget, (discreetly) stop and pick one up before you head home. Otherwise, stick with everything but intercourse. Better to be safe than sorry.
DON’T: Get too caught up in the moment to use a condom. Halting foreplay for a couple of minutes to grab a rubber is a way better scenario than dealing with an STI or unplanned pregnancy later on.

The Dirty Details

DO: Consider talking about your fantasie. One night stands can be great for sexual experimentation as long as everyone is on the same page of what is going to happen.”
DON’T: Do anything freaky if it wasn’t discussed ahead of time. For instance, don’t tell someone that you want them to call out ‘Fuck me daddy!’ while engaging in vigorous intercourse if this was not agreed to beforehand.

The Sloppy Situation

DO: Before you go home with someone while drinking, assess whether she seems sober enough to be making a clear, rational decision. If you feel like she’s had too much to drink, set her up on your couch with water and Aspirin. It’s respectful to her, and you’ll feel better about yourself in the morning too
DON’T: This goes without saying, but don’t try and persuade her to have sex with you if she says no. Asking a second and third time will only make you look desperate and annoying. No means no. Period. Exclamation point.

The “Talk”

DO: If you’re not looking for anything serious, just say so. It’s much better to be upfront about what you want so she’s not confused, and it’ll save you looking like an ass later. Communicate what you are looking for. Communication is really the lube of having great sex.
DON’T: Wait to tell her you’re not looking for anything serious until after you get it on. It’s not fair to her, period, if you know you’re going to bounce right away.

The Exit Strategy

DO: Offer her cab money or a ride home. Guys rarely, if ever, consider this simple gentlemanly gesture. Plus, it will soften the blow that comes with uncomfortable departures, and she’ll appreciate it more than you know.
DON’T: Make up a lame excuse about why she has to leave. “I totally forgot I have breakfast with my mom at 10 a.m.” is not only a crock of shit, but also, extremely rude. At the very least, plant the seed the night before with something viable. “I’m going to be so hungover for my football game tomorrow morning,” holds significantly more merit.

The Morning After

DO: Gauge whether or not she wants to have morning sex. Wrap your arm around her and gently stroke her stomach or kiss her neck. If she doesn’t take the bait, she’s not into it. If she reciprocates, do her a favor and brush your teeth first.
DON’T: Expect a morning delight just because she gave it up the night before. She may be uncomfortable, too hungover, or—apologies for being blunt—she just might not find you attractive when she’s sober.

The Follow-Up

DO: Be open to the idea of seeing her again. If you happen to hit it off with someone and you’re really enjoying her company, there’s no reason a one-night stand can’t turn into something more.
DON’T: Make promises you can’t keep. Don’t let someone know you will text them in a few days if you have zero interest in seeing them again. Instead, just don’t bring it up.

10 Things Men Love To Hear

In a relationship, it’s not only women who like to hear that they look nice, or that they’re wanted. Whether it’s a simple compliment to kick off his day or something deeper, these affirmations will strengthen your bond.
1.”I respect you”

It might seem old-fashioned, but men and women are different. We don’t think the same, talk the same, or respond the same to similar situations. Women want to feel loved, cherished and safe. Men want respect. Since men often withdraw when they don’t feel that respect, it’s worth giving him the positivity he craves. A man wants to know that you are focusing solely on him and that he is your priority. When you do focus on him, you will get so much in return.

2. “You look handsome”

It may sound obvious, but men enjoy a good ego-stroking, especially when they’re not trying to impress. Whenever my fiancé groggily tells me I look nice in the morning, before I head out the door for work, it makes me feel unstoppable for the rest of the day,” says Charles , 30. “It’s one thing to hear it if we’re going out to a nice place, but when she tells me I look dapper when I’m on my way to the office, it gives me a renewed confidence.”

3. “Thank you”

It’s easy to overlook the small gestures, like when he swaps out his toothbrush head for yours or straightens up the apartment even if you’re not having friends over. Instead of issuing a passive aggressive, “it’s about time!” thank him.Catch him doing something right every day, whether it’s that he made your coffee just the way you like it, or holds the door for you, tell him how much you appreciate his efforts and, above all, be specific about what he did and how it made you feel. That way, he’ll know exactly what he’s done well, and he’ll do it more often.

4. “I trust you”

You’ve probably got this one covered, but communicating it is all in the timing. The best time to share your feelings with your guy is just before or during sex, At that time, levels of oxytocin, a hormone that enhances feelings of trust, love and intimacy, are elevated, making it the very best moment to love talk with your partner. It’s also the ideal time to let him know what you want from him in the relationship, as he will be the most receptive and open.
5, “I’m listening”

Men communicate differently than women, tending toward reticence when they’re upset. When this happens, don’t badger him, but do let him know that you’re there for him, and when he does begin to talk through his issues, don’t interrupt him or offer any unsolicited opinions. Let him feel safe and unjudged. Couples that really hear each other are happier in their relationships, and experience lower levels of depression and anxiety.
6. “Good morning. Let’s get frisky!”

Perhaps you shouldn’t use that quote verbatim, but let him know that if he wants to be intimate with you, he needs to set the stage in the morning. You’ve got to stroke the mind before you stroke the behind. If you want to have sex that night, foreplay begins that morning, so send him suggestive texts throughout the day. He’ll get the idea.

7. “Your friends are fun”

There are nights you’d much prefer to stay home with a movie marathon than endure hours of beer-guzzling with his friends, but these guys are a part of his past and it’s important to let him know that you love every aspect of him — even if you’re glad he’s grown up a bit since his keg-stand days. Going to his social events or family functions makes you see your boyfriend through other people’s eyes and remember why you started dating him.

8. “You make me better”

He loves you and will do anything for you, so when you find yourself trapped in a routine and feeling somewhat spark-less, the biggest compliment you can give him is a reminder that he’s improved your life. Remember this morsel from talk show host and Act Like a Lady, Think Like a Man author Steve Harvey: “We men will do anything humanly possible to impress you. You’re the driving force behind why we wake up every day. We drive fancy cars because of women. We dress nice, put on cologne, get haircuts and try to look all shiny and new for you. We do all of this because the more our game is stepped up, the more of you we get.”

9. “I’m proud of you”

Men are very sensitive to performance issues. They worry about disappointing you. Telling him that he’s the best, most loving man has a megawatt positive impact. Men need reassurance that they are doing a good job. Most times when you ask a withdrawn man why he started to shut down, he says, ‘I just didn’t know what to do. I couldn’t seem to get it right, so I just gave up.’ Reassurance and validation is like an inoculation against this.”

10. “It’s not your fault”

We all have bad days, and it’s easy to take out the anger you feel towards your boss on your husband. Although you may know deep down that it’s not actually your man you’re upset with, he still might take your mean words to heart. Instead, level with him about why you’re cranky. He’ll be your best advocate.

ORGASMS IN THE PARK

My boyfriend and I loved to travel. He had the means; I had the time off occasionally. He hates hotels so when we travel he usually rents apartments instead. This time around we went to the city that never sleeps, New York.
We rented an apartment close by central park and it was a beautiful view. During the day we walked round being all romantic and then we go back to the apartment and fuck our brains out.
Friday evening came and I wanted to go dancing. We got dressed, went clubbing, drank like fishes and we both got really tipsy… okay I got really tipsy. We took a cab back to the apartment. He dropped us off by central park.
“We should go for a walk.” I said that laughing.
He laughed too and reached out to hold my hands. We walked into central park smiling and acting like newlyweds. As romantic as this was I couldn’t wait to fuck him again. I was dick whipped… he pussy whipped and we both loved it.
We walked silently, hand in hand. We passed a few people. We stole a few glances at each other as we walked together and I knew he wanted what I wanted. There was a bench close by that was a little covered. Before I could suggest anything he pulled me towards the bench and grabbed me into a kiss.
His tongue separated my lips and invited itself into my mouth. There was a sense of urgency in his kiss. I felt it too. If we were going to fuck, it had to be a quickie. We didn’t need to be arrested because of our horniness. He pulled me to the bench, he sat down. I straddled him but our lips never left each other’s. We kept tongue wrestling and lip biting.
I was wearing a short dress with no bra so it was easy for his hands to get under. The feel of his palm delicately moving from my thighs, to my hips, my waist and to my breast was magnetic. He squeezed gently before softly pinching my nipple. I moaned into his mouth. I could feel my wetness already. I wanted him to hustle that dick into my pussy. I took my lips to his ear. I licked it and he shivered. His ears were so sensitive. I gave it a soft bite and I heard him moan; I smiled.
“Fuck me.” I whispered.
He hurriedly lifted my dress till my breasts were exposed. He took a nipple into his mouth, sucking and biting. I threw my head back with my arms wrapped around his neck. His lips felt so good on my skin. His tongue flicked over my nipple and his teeth grazed them from time to time.
I felt him unbuckling his belt and I heard his zipper. The monster was free to wage war and I was ready to be conquered. He pushed my thong to the side brushing by my clit. I sucked in my breath with a moan and I bit my lip.
“You want more?” He whispered then started rubbing my clit. He continued his sucking and nibbling with my other breast. My body could feel the pressure this pleasure was creating; I was about to explode.
He removed his hand from my clit, and guided his dick into my extremely wet pussy.
“Ah!” I held him tight and placed my face on his head. I moved my hips to receive him happily. His mouth never left my breasts. He moved from one nipple to the other while his dick was stationed inside me. He didn’t move but he was still making my pussy cry.
“Please, fuck me.” ……….and my baby didn’t need me begging too much.
He adjusted holding my waist and he pushed me up, while I came down myself. I didn’t need him to move my hips, I just needed his dick. I zoned out the whole entire park. I tightened my grip around his neck, positioned my hips right and started to ride fast. I could hear him breathing, I was moaning. With every inch of his dick I felt, my moan get louder.
“Shhh! Babe… Ah.” He said but I wasn’t going to shhh anything. I couldn’t. What his dick did to me was too much for the silence he required of me. I rode my pussy all over his dick. His jeans wet with my essence. I opened my eyes to look at his face; he looked at me, our souls intertwined and then behind me we saw the ray of light. It seemed like irrelevant at first till it kept coming closer and brighter. Someone was coming and if it was a policeman, we were definitely getting arrested. I rode faster. I was determined to have an orgasm. The light came closer and so did the pressure in my clit. He moved his hips with me. The closer we saw the lights, the faster our thrusts. I could feel it all over me. My body screamed for him to hit me harder and drive in faster.
“Come on! Yes!” the light was so close, we could hear someone on his radio speaking to someone else. We were going to get caught but I was still going to fucking cum. My Boyfriend was so fast, he was a machine. This was a power fuck. I dug my nails into him and with one final slam my orgasm came crashing. I screamed a moan but he put his hands over my mouth.
“Hello! Are you hurt? Hello!” The policeman was searching for us.
He pushed me off him and covered his open, still rock hard dick with his shirt.
The policeman was in front of us with his light all over our faces.
“Hello, I heard a scream? Is everything alright?” He looked at us a little suspicious.
I was a little drunk… okay, really tipsy but that dick wiped a lot of the alcohol out of me. I was sane enough to have a valid conversation.
“We were being all romantic and I saw a rat!” I quickly said. I was still breathing heavy and my boyfriend was sweaty all over. The policeman wasn’t buying this lie but he didn’t see anything.
“Okay, maybe you should move away from here. We wouldn’t want the rat running up your dress, would we?” How sarcastic.
“No we wouldn’t, babe let’s go.” I stretched my hand towards my man. He got up bending a bit trying to hide his hard dick. The policeman smiled and walked away.
I turned around and pushed him back towards the bench. I sat on the bench while he stood in front of me. I lifted his shirt and took his dick into my mouth. It tasted of me but it didn’t matter. I took him down my throat. I moved my head as fast as I could. He held my head. I could feel him twitch. I wanted to feel his warmness slide all the way down my throat. I needed him to pour it all in me. He moaned in a hiss-like manner. He was going to explode. I saw the torch light rays again. It was now or never. His dick was in sync with my thoughts. I looked up at him; he was biting his lip hard and looking me straight in the eyes. He came in my mouth, tightening his grip on my shoulders and I swallowed. I quickly put his dick back in his pants, zipped him up and he slumped next to me on the bench weak. The policeman walked by us again.
“Still here I see?”
“Yes.” My boyfriend answered. “We are tourists and we love central park.” I just sat there smiling.
“Be careful.” And for the second time, the orgasm was faster than the cop.
After a few minutes, he got up holding out his hand for me. I held on to him and we walked out of the park and headed back to our apartment.
He was hard again in the elevator.
All I remember is pressing the emergency button in the elevator and waking up this morning. How can I jog my memory?